A Dentist's Revenge

When 45-year-old Marek Olszewski went to the dentist complaining of toothache, he was not ready for the surprise his dentist gave him. His dentist happened to be 34-year-old Anna Mackowiak, who he had broken up with a few days before. Mackowiak, apparently upset with the way their relationship had ended, decided that instead of treating her ex, she would pull out all his teeth. "I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions," said Mackowiak, "But when I saw him lying there I just though, 'What a bastard,' and decided to take all his teeth out." Mackowiak gave Olszewski a heavy dose of anesthetic before she performed this extreme surgery, and he woke in surprise to find all his teeth missing. While Olszewski sees both financial and relationship-related problems in his future, Mackowiak could face three years in prison because of this medical malpractice. The moral of the story? Don't break up with your dentist.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/dentist-pulls-her-ex-boyfriend-teeth-split-210829769.html

Japanese Soccer Ball Found In Alaska

On March 11 of last year, Japan was hit by a tsunami that wiped out entire towns and caused widespread devastation. 16-year-old Misaki Murakami, from the town of Rikuzentakata, thought he had lost everything. However, things started looking up when he found out that his soccer ball had survived and had been found on Middleton Island in Alaska, over 3,000 miles away from where it had started. It was found by David Baxter, who lives on Middleton Island with his wife, Yumi. She is Japanese and was able to read Murakami's name on the soccer ball. With help from a Japanese reporter, the couple found Murakami and plan to send the ball back to him as soon as possible.
http://news.yahoo.com/boy-glad-football-lost-tsunami-found-alaska-060602434.html

73-Year-Old Caught for Drug Trafficking

Oklahoma native Darlene Mayes was arrested on Monday, April 9 when police found four pounds of marijuana, two guns, and  $277,000 in cash stashed in her home. Apparently the 73-year-old has been the kingpin of an infamous drug ring  for at least 20 years. In that time, her drug-trafficking network reached a span of four states, including Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas, and Missouri and accounted for 40% of the pot sold in that area. When the cash was initially discovered, stored in bundles of $15,000, Mayes claimed the money was part of her retirement fund. Although drug-trafficking is not encouraged, the fact that she was able to keep her dealing up for 20 years is still pretty impressive.
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/granny-drug-kingpin-busted-in-oklahoma/

Pizza Hut's New Crust

Pizza Hut has revealed a "succulent hot dog sausage bursting from their famous stuffed crust." Yes, a hot-dog stuffed-crust pizza. Surprisingly enough, this crust was not unveiled in the notoriously obese United States, but rather in the United Kingdom. The hot dog is actually baked into the crust and comes with "FREE Mustard Drizzle!" However, this concept isn't completely new. Sausage-stuffed crusts started in Japan and Thailand long ago. For now, the hot-dog crust is only available in the 14-inch  large size. Hopefully this crust will make its way to Sturgeon Bay, where Jasper can make hot-dog stuffed pizzas for all!
http://shine.yahoo.com/shine-food/hot-dog-stuffed-crust-pizza-offered-pizza-hut-195100612.html
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/04/10/uk-pizza-hut-unveils-hot-dog-stuffed-crust-pizza/

High School Student Oxed To Death

On April second, Gibraltar sophomore, Nora Harris, was oxed to the death by senior, Marty Witteborg. Over the course of the past two years, oxing has become a common, but violent way for friends to greet each other. The ox is carried out by sneaking up on a friend or acquaintance, sliding your arm between their arm and their side, and pushing back and forth as hard as you can. Obviously, this causes severe discomfort to the ox-ee, which is the goal. An ox usually doesn't last for more than a few seconds, but this was different. "It started like any other day," says Witteborg,"but today, I must have gone too far. I went for the crucifixion, and suddenly, she went limp." A crucifixion is the most severe kind of ox. To start, it's a double ox, with both arms attacking. Then, to complete it, the ox-ee is lifted into the air. "I never meant to hurt her," said Witteborg, through his tears. Oxing used to be seen as a form of camaraderie at this rural Wisconsin high school, but its consequences are now being rethought. Anti-oxing rules are now being enforced in the hope of preventing such accidents in the future. Nora Harris was an excellent student, varsity athlete, and loyal friend. Hopefully with her tragic death will come an appreciation for the fleeting years of high school and a turn from violent acts.